Spiritual Wisdom for a Happier Life

Mark W. Baker, PhD has done the seemingly impossible with Spiritual Wisdom for a Happier Life: How Your 8 Key Emotions Can Work for You. He took what can be a complicated and dry topic and explained it in clear, easy to understand language for everyone. 

When the book first arrived in the mail I cringed at its thickness...nearly 400 pages...and nearly groaned out loud at the thought of slogging through a bunch of psychological mumbo jumbo written in terms best understood by others in the same profession.  To my surprise, the chapters average only 3-4 pages in length so there's no room for droning on and on and Dr. Baker made it interesting. Each chapter contains an example case to illustrate his point and show that in all these areas, change and improvement is possible.

Another thing that sets this book apart from others is that Dr. Baker is also a theologian and he takes each psychological principle he shares and finds what the Bible has to say about it.  That is really something different from a professional in the field.

I loved how clearly each emotion and the components that make it up were explained and how there were so many examples.  I gained a lot of insight, not only into the behaviors of those around me, but also into the workings of my own emotions and how they influence me.  That produced a much greater understanding and compassion in my thinking.  There were many "a-ha" moments.

The one thing I would like to see, maybe in another book, is for Dr. Baker to give the reader some tools to work with.  In this book he clearly spells out what the problem is and says it must be changed or stopped for things to be different, but he doesn't give the reader any tools to help them switch gears in their thinking.  It's easy to say, "stop worrying" or "let go of anger" but much harder to put it into practice. A few tips on how exactly to do those things would be a welcome addition.

On the whole, this was a very good book and an easy, interesting read. I'd recommend it for anyone who may struggle with or have someone in their life who is feeling hurt, guilt, shame, anger, anxiety, sorrow, or fear to pick up the book as a starting place. At the very least you will see you are not alone in the things you are feeling and the ways that you react to those feelings.

Another Monster Mash Up

Welcome to a haunting edition of Sunday Stealing!  By the 31st we will be all over Halloween here. Trick-or-treat was last night in the rain. Our daughter was so excited about our grandson's first Halloween that she drug him all around anyway.  I don't think he was impressed, but he sure was cute...and boy, did he clean up on candy (that he isn't even allowed to eat)!

Of this week's questions, Bev writes:

In honor of the appoaching Halloween, I found this weirdly formatted set on a question meme site.


ghost: what would you like on your tombstone? I don't even know if I want a tombstone. I've been thinking, lately, that maybe I want to be cremated...not that it will make any difference to me at that point, but it would be financially kinder to my family and better for the planet.  If I end up buried under a stone I want it to be memorable...either a really cool sculpture or engraving or a great quote/funny saying.

dracula: are you afraid of aging? or death?  Death doesn't scare me because I am confident in where I am going.  Aging is another story.  I try not to think about it or worry, but what will become of me when I am old is one of my middle of the night fears.

nosferatu: what, as a child, did you imagine went bump in the night? I don't know that I had anything in particular in my mind, but I definitely thought a lot of stuff went bump in the night when I was a kid.

godzilla: what do you do when you are angry? are you ever destructive?  I try to remember to turn to prayer to keep it under control, but I'm not always successful. What I do when I fail depends on who or what I am angry at. Sometimes I yell or say snarky stuff, but mostly I go silent and fume. I'm never destructive.

the blob: do you collect anything? if so, what & why?  All kinds of books with a collection of cookbooks within that collection. Why? Because they are books, isn't that enough?  And I like to cook.

zombie: when was the last time you trusted your gut? was it successful? I don't think my "gut" talks to me except concerning relationships (not just romantic ones) and yeah, it's usually right about those. 

mothra: what is something dangerous that attracts or fascinates you?  Tornadoes. I've been through one and I'm sort of nervous about them, but I'm also morbidly fascinated. There is nothing like a good tornado movie...and Into the Storm is the best!

king kong: what are some questionable choices you've made lately?  I don't think I've made any lately. I've gotten a lot better over the years about thinking things through. In fact, I probably think too much about things before I act.

alien: what is your strangest feature?  My ears. I hate my ears.

cthulhu: do you like the ocean? why or why not?  I like it. I like to walk by it, look at it, hear it, smell it, boat on top of it, fish in it, see the things that live in it...but I do NOT get in it past my ankles. Ever.

nessie: have you ever felt invisible to people -- the feeling of not existing? Yeah, it's one of the things I have to stay on guard for when I fall into the whole over thinking things trap.

On a more serious note...

mutant spider: what is one of your biggest fears?  Snakes, sharks (why I don't get in the ocean), being old and alone or at the mercy of heaven only knows who.

werewolf: if you could change into any nonhuman animal and back at will, what animal would you change into and why?  A camel. Camels are cooler than heck and they've got attitude in spades. 

golem: if you could make up an imaginary friend, what would they be like and why?  Why would I want an imaginary friend...unless it's to keep me company in that nursing home with horrible caretakers I'm going to end up in?

leprechaun: what is your "pot of gold" (or white whale, if you'd rather)  By this you mean the thing that I pursue and yet it eludes me?  Losing weight.  I've lost some, but....  Well, that and a winning billion dollar Power Ball ticket.

sharktopus: what is something you've done that was ridiculous or a bad decision?  Not that I regret marrying my husband, but I should have finished my degree first.

robot: what is a habit you do without thinking?  Using good manners. My dad absolutely drilled them into my head and messing up brought swift punishment. I have to admit to being a wee bit of a snob when it comes to manners...at least in those who should know better.

We Did the Mash...the Monster Mash!

Welcome to the Halloween edition of Saturday 9! Well chosen, Sam...I loved this song when I was a kid. Let's get on with it and have some fun and please be sure to stop by and visit the Saturday 9 site to find direct links to other bloggers playing along or for the rules (there really aren't any) if you'd like to join in.

Saturday 9: Monster Mash (1962)

Unfamiliar with this week's featured song? Hear it here.

1) In your younger days, did you ever trick or treat while dressed as a monster or ghoul?   My mom was a librarian and one year the art teacher at the elementary school Mom worked at (and I attended) made paper mache monster masks for all the teachers.  They were really something.  Mom's was sort of a lady Frankenstein with greenish skin, curly newspaper hair, long black construction paper eyelashes, and HUGE sparkly red lips.  I thought it was the coolest thing, as did many of my friends.  I wore it a few times over the years.  I haven't seen it in ages, but I know it is still packed away in a box in Mom's attic.

2) Do you enjoy being frightened by celluloid boys-gone-bad, like Michael Myers (Halloween) or Jason (Friday the 13th)?   NO!  I like spooky things, but hate true horror films, all-to0-realistic haunted houses, and the rest.

3) When you were a kid, did you ever TP a neighbor's house or indulge in any other Halloween acts of vandalism? (Don't worry, the statute of limitations is up.)  I may have TPed a house or two, though I don't really remember.  Around here, "corning" was big (that's throwing dried, shelled corn at houses if you don't know), but I was pretty much under threat of permanent grounding if I ever got caught doing that so I never did.

4) Will you be attending any Halloween parties this year? If so, will you dress up?  We went to a Halloween bonfire last weekend.  I dressed as a unicorn because I found an awesome rainbow unicorn wig.  I will probably dress up next week for the kids on the bus, too.  It kind of stinks, though, that we aren't allowed to give the kids treats any more.  Too many kids with food allergies and sensitivities. 

5) Can you see any Halloween decorations as you answer these 9 questions?  I have a jack-o-lantern (not real) in the living room window and an animated, singing dog in a pumpkin costume right beside it.  That's the extent of my Halloween decorations.  I didn't even set out my "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" figurines.

6) While Halloween is most popular in the United States and Canada, and isn't really celebrated at all in Japan or South Korea. How would you explain our Halloween customs to a visitor from another land?  Greedy little buggers egged on by their parents go door-to-door (often in multiple neighborhoods) mooching free candy from people their parents don't know and can't trust not to poison it or fill it with razor blades.  The greed is so complete that even teenagers and adults now trick-or-treat.  Adults use it as an excuse to dress up in another identity, drink and behave badly.  I'm not a big fan....can you tell?

7) "Monster Mash" is one of Halloween's most played songs. Are you happy to hear it every year? Or does it set your teeth on edge?  I've always liked the song.  It was, and still is, a fun song.  And it beats the heck out of "One-eyed, One-horned, Flying Purple People Eater."

8) This week's featured artist, Bobby "Boris" Pickett, started as a stand-up comedian who incorporated his imitations of Boris Karlof and Bela Lugosi into his act. Can you impersonate anyone?  I used to be able to do a pretty good version of Dana Carvey's Church Lady, but I haven't tried in years.  I don't know if I can still do it or not.

9) Dick Clark was an impossibly young looking 33 in this week's featured clip. Are you often told you look good for your age?   I guess in a round about way.  Most people think I'm about 10 years younger than I am.

Trick or Treat is tonight in our area so I'll just wish you a spooktacularly.....

Sunday Stealing: Sleepy Rambles

Good morning and welcome to Sunday Stealing, the fun-est bunch of thieves on the internet! Sunday Stealing is the weekly meme where the questions are stolen from other blogs (just like other memes), but where credit is given (at least one place back).

This week Bev says:

Bud stole a meme from Sleepy Rambles several years ago.  I checked the site out and found a lot more. (Someone complained it took a long time to answer these memes, so I only chose 15 questions this time!)


Have you ever eaten at restaurant and you realized you forgot your money?  I don't think so.  I can't remember it ever happening, anyway.

True or false-you can pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time. Only with great concentration. I am not naturally that coordinated.

Do you prefer to drink out of cans or bottles?  Bottles, though I don't really mind cans.

Do your socks match today?  What socks?  I've been barefoot all day.

What was the last book you read? Would you recommend it?  I'm currently reading Spiritual Wisdom for a Happier Life: How Your 8 Key Emotions Can Work for You by Mark W. Baker, PhD. It's one of the books I get for free and review for Revell Publishing and yes, I would recommend it.  It's nearly 400 pages but it's written clearly in understandable language and the chapters are only 3-4 pages long.  I've really gained a lot of insight into what's behind the behavior of others as well as about myself.

Are you currently borrowing something from someone?  No, I don't think so. I can't think of anything, anyway.

Write an extremely random statement.  "I had to wait three hundred years for a virgin to light a candle."  Sorry, I'm watching Hocus Pocus.

Are there any major holidays you don’t celebrate?  Assuming you are asking about American holidays, the answer is no.

What is one thing you will never understand?  Math

Have you ever stepped on a bee?  Yes, and the little bugger stung me on the toe.

What helps you wake up in the morning?  Diet Coke

What did you have for breakfast this morning?  I don't eat breakfast since I've been trying to follow a 16-hour fasting plan. It's working. I've lost 30 pounds since June.

What is your favorite thing in your room?  You said "my" room. The only room in the house that is totally mine is my office and I hardly know where to start to choose a favorite thing in there. All of my favorite stuff is in there....my books, my journals, my crafts, family photos, my great-grandmother's dough box that my favorite aunt gave me before she died, my signed and numbered print from the 2013 Chincoteague Pony Swim (I waited my whole life to go to that!), the sweet little writing desk I bought at an auction for $7....

Who was your first kiss with?  Technically speaking, with a boy named Joey Bradshaw in 1st grade.  My first "real" kiss was at a school dance in 9th grade with a boy named Gene.

Do you worry about small things?  Not really.  I try not to worry about the big things either since all the worry in the world won't change a thing, but I can't say I'm always successful.

Saturday 9: Voices Carry (1985)

It's once again time to join Sam and the rest of the gang for a little Saturday 9 fun. Please be sure to visit the Saturday 9 site to find links to the other bloggers who are playing or to join in yourself.

 

Saturday 9: Voices Carry (1985)
 
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

This song was chosen because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this link to The National Domestic Violence Hotline. Let's spread the word that there's help out there.

1) In this song, a woman is "hushed" by her lover. When were you last told to "keep it down?"  Just the other day when my husband was watching the news. 

2) Her lover tells her tears are something to hide. Researchers tell us that crying can be good for us, because by releasing emotional stress, it lessens physical stress on the cardiovascular system. Are you comfortable crying infront of other people?  I guess I'm not since I rarely cry in front of others....but I really don't cry much in private, either.

3) In this video, the woman makes a scene by speaking up in a theater. Today theater goers are more likely to be disturbed by a cell phone ringing or its screen illuminating. Are you careful to turn your phone off in the theater, church, etc.?  Yes. Unfortunately, I'm terrible at remembering to turn it back on.

4) When this group, Til Tuesday, was still struggling, Cyndi Lauper was already a star. Cyndi offered to record this song, which would have brought the group some fast cash, but only if they agreed not to record it themselves. Obviously they didn't take the deal. Tell us about a time you took a risk on yourself, and it paid off.  It would have to be when I got involved in youth ministry. I didn't want to teach and surely had no experience or talent, but I ended up going from teaching little kids, to teaching teens in youth group and Sunday School, to teaching at camp, to running the vacation Bible school program, to teaching at that denomination's national youth convention, to leading teens on mission trips, to sitting on the administrative board of the region....all in a 3-4 year period of time. You never know what you can do.

5) Til Tuesday's lead singer, Aimee Mann, went to Open High School in Richmond, Virginia. This charter high school is dedicated to helping students become "self-determined thinkers and learners." Do you recall your high school as permissive or regimented?  I'd say it was just a normal high school for the times, but I suppose by today's standards it would be considered regimented. I know I found out as my kids went through it's hallowed halls that it's certainly not the same school I went to.  They are guilty of teaching white-washed history and common core math and they were caught "cheating" on standardized tests...coaching kids, letting them retake the tests, discarding low scores...all to get a better rating from the state and therefore, more money.

Yep, this is really how it's done now. You
should see how they do long division.

6) Aimee has been on the road through 2017 and, like most artists, sells tour merchandise. Her line includes reusable tote bags. Do you bring your own bag to the grocery store?  No, for the most part I only do "big" grocery shopping trips so I would need a LOT of bags. I only do that if I'm going to Aldi's where I have to buy my bags...but I'm reusing the ones I bought because they are soooo much stronger than the crappy plastic ones everyone else uses. How are we saving the planet by making thinner bags when you need to double-bag just to carry a roll of paper towels??

7) Aimee has tried her hand at acting and appeared on Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. From Dracula to Barnabas Collins to Lestat, vampires are a popular culture staple (especially in October). What do you suppose accounts for their enduring popularity?  The whole immortality thing? If it's not that then I have no idea. People like to be scared a bit, so I get the old school vamps, but I don't get the whole attraction to the new ones. I don't find them sexy in the least.

8) In 1985, when this song was popular, Bruce Springsteen was at the top of the charts with Born in the USA. A massive commercial success, Born in the USA has sold more than 15,000,000 copies in the United States alone. Is it in your collection?  Surprisingly, no. I liked Bruce well enough back in the day and I still enjoy some of his songs (Pink Cadillac is a favorite), but I've never bought an album/CD/download.

9) Random question: In which race would you do better -- the Iditarod, with sled dogs in Nome, or speeding in a car at 200+ mph at the Indianapolis 500?  I was nearly in a head-on collision yesterday when someone coming the other way tried to pass the car in front of them. My bus was coming down a hill at 55 mph and the passer had to have been doing at least 60. We were too close together when she pulled out and she should never, ever have tried. The car being passed never slowed down (oblivious, scared, mad?). I hit my brakes, geared down and tried to ease as far off the road as possible when there really was no place to go except into a 3 ft. deep ditch. The woman just made it, yanking the wheel at the last possible second. I still can't believe she tried it. Had we hit it would have been bad.  So, yeah, I'm going to go with the Iditarod.  Even though I hate snow and extreme cold I'll take the dogs rather than certain death at 200 mph.

This is pretty much the image that was
passing through my brain at the time.

The 20 Crush Questions

It's time for a little Sunday Stealing. Thanks to our hostess, Bev, for finding us great questions each week.

Of this week's questions, Bev writes: This set of questions is called "Questions to ask Your Crush" but it seems like a regular old set of questions to me!


1. What do you find hilarious, but most people don’t find funny?  The truly awful "reality" shows like Alaskan Bush People and Mountain Monsters.

2. What was the best year of your life so far?  There are just too many in the running to choose one...1984 was a great year. I was living the life in college and having a blast and I also ended up marrying my husband before the year was over.  I guess I'll go with that one.

3. What’s your favorite thing to do on the Internet?  Play games and catch up with everyone on Facebook.

4. What fad have you held on to even tho it isn’t popular any more? CDs. I am still refusing to grow my music collection digitally.

Today's kids will never know the joy.

5. What do you spend most of your time doing?  Working, reading, playing around on Facebook.

6. What do you spend way too much money on?  Books.

7. What event, large or small, has changed the course of your life most?  Accepting Jesus as my Savior, followed by getting married.

8. Who do you have a hard time taking seriously? Pretty much all entertainers and a good 99% of politicians.

9. What do you judge people for most often?  I really do try not to judge anyone, but I do evaluate character to see if a person is someone I should allow in my life.

10. What was the most beautiful view you have ever experienced?
I'm going to have to go with the scenery of New Mexico. I think the desert is beautiful!

11. What is something you read or heard that has stuck with you for a long time?

12. What’s your favorite thing to shop for.  Why?  Christmas gifts for the grandkids, because it's just so much fun to find just the right thing that is going to light up their eyes and make them smile with wonder.

13. What’s the best compliment someone can receive? When someone can see a difference in me and wants to know what's behind it.

14. What’s something people go on and on about and you just can’t stand sitting through?  People I don't know. Some people just go on and on about people they know like you know them, too. My grandfather was a good one for talking about people who lived near him and thinking I should know them....when I hadn't lived there in years and was only 7 when we moved away.

15. What’s something you can do that most people can’t?  I have no idea. I don't think I have any particularly rare talents.

16. When was the last time you tried to look cool and ended in embarrassment?  Again, no idea.

17. What is the most ridiculous rule you have to follow?  Probably the one the head mechanic created about no one being allowed to start a bus before a certain time...because he doesn't want the garage door opened more than once or for too long because he gets cold. The truth is he is not very nice and is just a wee bit of a control freak. (He once labeled me as "defiant" because I kept parking in a spot he had never told me not to park in. I was supposed to have listened in/overheard when he was chewing someone else out.)

 18. What country do you not know the location of, even though you should? Kyrgyzstan

19. What do you have a hard time with but most people find quite easy?  Knitting. I just can't.

20. What’s the most impressive skill you have?  Isn't this kind of the same thing as #15?  My most impressive skill....has to be not running my bus into the idiots who run the red lights. It's happening more and more and it really ticks me off.  Other than that it might be my winter driving skills. I don't like it, but I am pretty good at it.