Tim is a little reserved about it all. He is supportive and all that and wants it to work out the way I hope it does, but he hasn't had much to say. His reserve may stem from his own troubled relationships with his six siblings. Our son is happy for me and naturally curious about the people he shares DNA with, but also reserved in his comments. From him I got a "That's cool." Our daughter, being a female, is a little more emotional like me. Okay, more than me. Way more. She is bouncing with her excitement and can't wait to get to meet these people for herself.
I even had a good "talk" via Facebook with my daughter-in-law about everything. I can't even tell you how that made my heart soar, because just a few years ago I feared that I had completely lost my son and his family. This girl has grown and matured and is becoming a very lovely woman.
The only downer in the whole situation is my mom. I don't want her to feel like I'm sneaking around, betraying her, choosing them over her, or anything else she might be inclined to feel so I've let her know what is happening ever step of this journey. I didn't, however, tell her about having lunch yesterday until after it was over. I didn't want to gush too much and fretted over what to say, but I barely got it out that I'd had lunch with my sister before Mom abruptly changed the subject. She made it clear she really didn't want to hear about it. That is going to make things a little tricky going forward, but I'm not going to let her steal this from me or my joy in knowing my sister. Mom is bitter and I get it. There are good reasons for her to be, but I really hope that after 55 years she can find a way to let it go. Bitterness never hurts anyone but the one holding on to it.
Other than the shopping there isn't much on today's agenda. I've got to do some laundry and I'm hoping to enjoy some time reading. I'm still working on The Oracle and I just got 100 Words of Affirmation Your Husband Needs to Hear to review.
If Tim gets home early enough perhaps we can go out for dinner. It's been ages since we last went out. If not or he's too tired or doesn't feel well I'll order something in.
I hope to check in over the weekend, but it's my weekend to work and Saturday I'm also driving a resident to the country club for a surprise party for her son in one of the nursing home's vans with a wheelchair lift. I've never driven it before and only got one super quick lesson so pray I remember how it all works! Pray, too that we don't have traffic trouble...the town is having it's huge annual festival this weekend and between closed streets, thousands and thousands of visitors and vehicles, it can be pretty tough to get around.
Well, I am off to get dressed and walk over to our daughter's. She called to let me know she's up and ready when I am. You all have a blessed and beautiful day!
That is so exciting you met your half sister for the first time and that you really felt a bond. Good for you in moving forward on this, and perhaps more meetings of half siblings lie ahead.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I hope to meet my brothers one day and maybe even my father or his siblings.
DeleteHey, Stacy! Thank you for visiting me! I hopped right over here to meet you! I’m now your newest follower! Congratulations on finding your family! Your story intrigues me. I’m half sister to my siblings. I grew up the oldest with two sisters and a brother. They are all full blood siblings. Then I have two more half sisters that were given away and did not grow up with us. They are full blood with the same father and mother, I, on the other hand, have no idea who my father was. Mother refused to tell me. Did you connect with DNA testing? I did that but with no name of a father I gave up trying to research the connections and matches. I think we must all be a little kin to everyone!
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you and your sister! All of us siblings were together for Mother’s funeral this year. One of the two that didn’t grow up with us is desperate about connecting to her father’s side of the family so she did the testing and attended a family reunion. They all hit it off so well. She found a family that has the same kind of humor and looks and is so happy to get to be a part of that!
It’s your life so you do what’s best for you. I do so admire your beautiful and gracious attitude!
Hi, Linda! Welcome! I grew up as an only child. I knew my dad adopted me when he married my mom, but mom refused to tell me anything about my father for my entire life and it would probably have stayed that way until she died if she'd had anything to say about it.
DeleteMy son did an Ancestry DNA test last fall and it did kick back a couple of names to him that they said were genetic first cousins...which only happens if you share at least one grandparent. I didn't recognize the names so I decided to take a chance and ask my mom. She, rather reluctantly, admitted the names he was given had the same last name as my father...and then she told me what she knew about him, which wasn't much. I figured he'd had other children for my son to have first cousins, so when my son asked if I wanted him to contact these people I told him to sit on it for the time being. I told him not to for the time being because I didn't know what they knew or didn't know and I didn't want to disrupt their lives.
That's where it all sat until August when my mom received a letter out of the blue from my sister. She and one of my brothers had been looking for me for a couple of months. The brother is into genealogy and a major computer whiz. She wrote to my mom first to be sure they had the right people and because they didn't know if I knew. I'm actually surprised my mom passed it on to me because she is really bitter about whatever happened with my father. Neither my sister or I know the whole story. She was going to see our father this weekend and was hoping to get up the nerve to ask him more about it. The whole thing has been a taboo subject in both of our families.
Anyway, I guess maybe the DNA test pushed things along as far as them finding me, but I'm not really clear on that. My sister mentioned that our youngest brother apparently knew something because he asked their grandmother if their father had other children several years ago before she died. All she gave him was the stare of death. No answer at all. But I guess our father told my sister about me after he had a major heart attack and bypass surgery.
This is all so wild. It is no wonder Ancestry and 23 and Me have had to open up huge counseling divisions to handle calls from people who find themselves in situations like this. I'm sure the older generations are not so thrilled. It seems a lot of them wanted their pasts to remain buried forever.
I'm glad you also seem to have been blessed. I hope that you can at least find out who your father was one day. I plan to meet mine if he is willing, but I'll be fine if he doesn't. I'm not expecting to find a daddy at this point. I'd just like answers.
So happy for you.
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I am happy for you too Stacy! Thanks for including us in your journey!
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