My joining in with Rebecca Jo and the others for Thankful Thursday is going to be a bit different today. Rather than a list of all that I am thankful for....I need to share something that is going on and ask for prayer as well as share the blessings that can be found in the difficult times.
This week I am thankful..... that I still have my precious daughter. That I have another day to spend with her and love her. That she will see her 25th birthday, get married in September, and be an awesome momma to her baby boy.
My girl, you see, has struggled with attention-deficit disorder all through school and in her later teens depression and anxiety joined the club. Everything she has ever done has been a struggle, but she has mostly kept it under control. Lately, however, it has been harder. The thinking has been that postpartum depression is compounding her "normal" depression. Her doctor increased her meds over a month ago. She really didn't say anything more than usual so I guess we all assumed she was doing okay.
Yesterday she asked me to go with her to her appointment with her PCP. She wanted to talk to him about her constant urinary tract infections and wanted me to help her remember to tell him everything and be a second set of ears for what he recommended. We never really got to that....because right off the bat she stunned the doctor and I by saying she was frequently thinking about suicide as a way to stop feeling so bad all the time. He was quick to question and she assured him that no, she didn't have thoughts of hurting anyone else, and no, she hadn't actually formulated a plan.
The doctor then asked her if she would be willing to be hospitalized for a 72-hour period at mental health. She answered that she would. That made her decision voluntary. Had she declined, the doctor later told us, he would have had her committed involuntarily. He called the ER and told them we were on our way and we left his office and went straight there.
So, my baby is locked in a mental health facility for the next 3-5 days. She is able to use the phone there to call out if she wants to and she can have visitors for an hour in the evening so she will be able to see her baby and fiancee. I am so proud of her for being brave enough to tell us about her struggles and for agreeing to be committed. It's my hope and prayer that during this intensive time with mental health professionals that they will be able to work out her meds and give her some tools to cope...and maybe walk out with a counselor or therapist to talk to.
Even in this stressfulness there are beautiful blessings to be found...seeing my daughter's deep love of her son, seeing her fiancee step up and do what he needs to do for her and for their son when he could just walk away as so many do, extra time with my sweet little man...cuddling him as he falls asleep and holding him in the morning when he's still sleepy and drinking his bottle, seeing how my whole family steps up to the plate and pitches in to do whatever we need to do....something made especially dear because my mom is still dealing with my stepfather being in the hospital with heart issues.
These days are rough, but my God is bigger and tougher than anything this world can throw my way and He is my hope for better days. I know that one day there will be no more sorrow, no more pain and what a glorious day that will be!